Why am I so scared de especially scared my mother summore...but im really very scared...
After she see my result...wad will she do? I dunno...and tt's precisely why i scared ma...ahhhh
I also scared tt i wouldnt qualify for triple science la i dun wan go triple but it's so...saddening to know tt even if i wanna go in they also wouldnt accept me la.....get wad i mean rite? haiz
I will work hard and chiong back de i will temporarily quit neopets and youtube and chiong finish hols hw and all the way till after oct exams!!! JIAYOU!! cheer me on k ppl >< lol jkjk
I really really will work hard le but i think for now, it's too late la coz CA marks out le...my mother will hav to see it and...how??
Cried like wad lyk tt la in toilet b4 i bathed juz now...wanted to scream out loud but of coz...couldnt...wth sia...
And i feel so...失败(shi bai) la...cant even reach a 70% overall...the skit also cannot act well...feel so useless la...haiz...so depressed sia juz now didnt even feel lyk going back pri sku but forced myself to and quite a few ppl felt my abnormality lol (i supposed i was too noisy usually..)
Anyway...yea i die also nobody care la...wadeva lyk i will commit suicide...a useless coward lyk me dun even have the courage to do so...not when i've decided to catch up in my studies...
2007-08-31
haiz...i cant help it
Aiya i noe i shouldnt think too much but i really cant help it...
(Let 'SHE' be the her i wan tok about k lol...
and 'her be an9other girl k)
I noe tt SHE is wan to help her only but i cant help thinking tt she prefer to be with her u get it?
Maybe im too paranoid la juz last few days hav been thinking about it (this happened today nia) thinking about maybe they will be happier la...i sound wrong rite? lol is girls ma so nvm ma haha anyway yea...muz remember cannot think too much
DUN THINK TOO MUCH DUN THINK TOO MUCH!!
But i really cant stop it siaa...feel so extra lo...cant w8 for next yr when we all seperate....
(Let 'SHE' be the her i wan tok about k lol...
and 'her be an9other girl k)
I noe tt SHE is wan to help her only but i cant help thinking tt she prefer to be with her u get it?
Maybe im too paranoid la juz last few days hav been thinking about it (this happened today nia) thinking about maybe they will be happier la...i sound wrong rite? lol is girls ma so nvm ma haha anyway yea...muz remember cannot think too much
DUN THINK TOO MUCH DUN THINK TOO MUCH!!
But i really cant stop it siaa...feel so extra lo...cant w8 for next yr when we all seperate....
2007-08-26
haiz
anyone got watch the saturday/sunday 7pm-9pm channel 8 show tt ended today anot?
So sad rite??Aiyo who say 好人有好报的??????So not true...
The guy is so n1 person so kind why die lyk tt...and so...sadly as in the way they portray his death is so sadddd...
So sad rite??Aiyo who say 好人有好报的??????So not true...
The guy is so n1 person so kind why die lyk tt...and so...sadly as in the way they portray his death is so sadddd...
2007-08-24
.....speechless
Im very scared very scared...
Im scared tt my results for this yr will be very low....
Im scared tt i wont hav gd frens in the class for next yr...
Im scared tt I'll be lonely again...
Im scared tt I will not be able to cope wif work next yr...
Im scared tt I still cant decide what to take next year...
How? Haiz....im going crazy...
Maths got so low...chinese not high either...hist and lit no need to say...wad else?
=(
Im scared tt my results for this yr will be very low....
Im scared tt i wont hav gd frens in the class for next yr...
Im scared tt I'll be lonely again...
Im scared tt I will not be able to cope wif work next yr...
Im scared tt I still cant decide what to take next year...
How? Haiz....im going crazy...
Maths got so low...chinese not high either...hist and lit no need to say...wad else?
=(
2007-08-18
hahaha
so long nvr karaoke le sia...(im hurrying to go off le haha)
My father today suddenly on karaoke and i realise most old songs very romantic sia haha eg. 雨中、当我想你的时候etc and some other songs also very n1 >< eg. 明天会更好 haha so n1 so long nvr sing haha ^^ gtg le byeee
My father today suddenly on karaoke and i realise most old songs very romantic sia haha eg. 雨中、当我想你的时候etc and some other songs also very n1 >< eg. 明天会更好 haha so n1 so long nvr sing haha ^^ gtg le byeee
2007-08-10
Sianz
I wanna blog on things happening but not in the mood sia...got mood then write ba...
just these few days very sianz lo especially when my mum is angry coz im even more lonely at home...morning wake up eat whateva's there then do hw in my room then at nite find excuse use com a while...everyday lyk tt...now my mother still say dun let me go anywhere le after sku..HOW TO SURVIVE...dunno wad to write le...tt's all byebye
just these few days very sianz lo especially when my mum is angry coz im even more lonely at home...morning wake up eat whateva's there then do hw in my room then at nite find excuse use com a while...everyday lyk tt...now my mother still say dun let me go anywhere le after sku..HOW TO SURVIVE...dunno wad to write le...tt's all byebye
2007-08-09
2 days blog ^^
Ytd:
Ytd ndp calebreation was juz simple: BORING!! so nth to say la so boring de...
Then after sku go buy ticket then eat lunch wif siying then come home then 2+ i bathing then the doorbellring 3 times sia...then quickly hurry hurry lo...coz i noe is my cousin ma...=.=ll
Then after that me, siying and my cousin(zp) go watch SECRET 不能说的秘密, soooo super nice la i highly recommend it and encourage you to watch it haha vanessa say she watching on fri wif her siblings and she gonna buy the dvd so i wan burn from her (go get from her la, save movie money haha)wont regret watching it de..super worth it!!=) O ya the female lead ar SOOOOO ADORABLE! SO CHIO!! haha ><
Today de le:
An active volcano that erupts every few years is right by my side...always erupt when everyone gone de so im always alone during the eruption then when ppl come back, it became calm again... yea im exaggerating but it's quite true ma my mother always 1-2 yrs hav 1 BIGBIGBIG eruption(scolding) for me de lo...and during the eruption, she will remind of all the recent last time things some is repeated de from the previous eruption lol...
Here...
today ar we did hw in the morning then er tt's all=.=ll haha jkjk
K la k la following:
Then afternoon my dad came home and bathe then went to car workshop(AGAIN!!) with zp lo then i doing my hw hor my mother wiping the tables etcetcetcetcetc then she come ask me left how much hw ma then i say 'dunno' then i wan look at the calendar 的 post-it see then tell her ma...
This was when she erupted...it's lyk so small prob rite but that's not really the main thing le..she raked up so much of last time wrong la...especially last yr de almost lost in mountains incident... a lot of the incidents is i tot she forgive me le then i realise she nvr really did...
Then she say several times say i angry at her when she scold me everytime say i 瞪 her during tt time 2.4 run de eve when she say i nvr meet frens etc but i wasnt la juz blink too hard to dun let tear drop ma...few times le lo...she keep say i angry say i very rude...BUT I WASNT..
And rite, im not angry wif her..i dunno why...when she scold me ar, i wasnt angry, i was thinking through all she said and explaining all of them in my brain lol andmy tears was wetting my shirt and the drawing block(was drawing for lit)...
She got quite agitated lo saying all the chase-me-out-house again...make me so sad then say my fate was worse then this at first but they saved me but im not thankful (so im REALLY adopted la? and how was i to confirm if they dun tell me?) then say i jealous of my cousin but they rather treat him better still say my dad giv up on me le...make me feel so...upset la
O ya she also say if still dun change or sth de ar then dun tok to her le...then i cried even more..how to survive without them?
AM I THAT WORTHLESS ANYWAY?
O...wadeva...dunno la..im not angry...miraculously not haha fine play quite a while le happier ^^ tomorrow muz chiong hw le!! JYJY for myself!! haha ><
Hope it's not as bad as last time after eruption lo...after zp go back...haiz...hope all goes well...
Ytd ndp calebreation was juz simple: BORING!! so nth to say la so boring de...
Then after sku go buy ticket then eat lunch wif siying then come home then 2+ i bathing then the doorbellring 3 times sia...then quickly hurry hurry lo...coz i noe is my cousin ma...=.=ll
Then after that me, siying and my cousin(zp) go watch SECRET 不能说的秘密, soooo super nice la i highly recommend it and encourage you to watch it haha vanessa say she watching on fri wif her siblings and she gonna buy the dvd so i wan burn from her (go get from her la, save movie money haha)wont regret watching it de..super worth it!!=) O ya the female lead ar SOOOOO ADORABLE! SO CHIO!! haha ><
Today de le:
An active volcano that erupts every few years is right by my side...always erupt when everyone gone de so im always alone during the eruption then when ppl come back, it became calm again... yea im exaggerating but it's quite true ma my mother always 1-2 yrs hav 1 BIGBIGBIG eruption(scolding) for me de lo...and during the eruption, she will remind of all the recent last time things some is repeated de from the previous eruption lol...
Here...
today ar we did hw in the morning then er tt's all=.=ll haha jkjk
K la k la following:
Then afternoon my dad came home and bathe then went to car workshop(AGAIN!!) with zp lo then i doing my hw hor my mother wiping the tables etcetcetcetcetc then she come ask me left how much hw ma then i say 'dunno' then i wan look at the calendar 的 post-it see then tell her ma...
This was when she erupted...it's lyk so small prob rite but that's not really the main thing le..she raked up so much of last time wrong la...especially last yr de almost lost in mountains incident... a lot of the incidents is i tot she forgive me le then i realise she nvr really did...
Then she say several times say i angry at her when she scold me everytime say i 瞪 her during tt time 2.4 run de eve when she say i nvr meet frens etc but i wasnt la juz blink too hard to dun let tear drop ma...few times le lo...she keep say i angry say i very rude...BUT I WASNT..
And rite, im not angry wif her..i dunno why...when she scold me ar, i wasnt angry, i was thinking through all she said and explaining all of them in my brain lol andmy tears was wetting my shirt and the drawing block(was drawing for lit)...
She got quite agitated lo saying all the chase-me-out-house again...make me so sad then say my fate was worse then this at first but they saved me but im not thankful (so im REALLY adopted la? and how was i to confirm if they dun tell me?) then say i jealous of my cousin but they rather treat him better still say my dad giv up on me le...make me feel so...upset la
O ya she also say if still dun change or sth de ar then dun tok to her le...then i cried even more..how to survive without them?
AM I THAT WORTHLESS ANYWAY?
O...wadeva...dunno la..im not angry...miraculously not haha fine play quite a while le happier ^^ tomorrow muz chiong hw le!! JYJY for myself!! haha ><
Hope it's not as bad as last time after eruption lo...after zp go back...haiz...hope all goes well...
2007-08-08
Im scared...
*juz finished crying(2-3 mins only) la*
Im so scared...scared tt my mother will scold me again later...she scold me twice le lo today..but of coz it's my fault la but still...
This morning my phone alarm rang i pressed once then got two more bells tt kept ringing repeatedly every five minutes...I didnt 'hear' it at all then didnt wake up coz i was real tired la... but it woke my mum then she got angry coz she ytd nite keep cough until cant sleep (how was i to noe tt?) Anyway..then she come my room at 6pm to scold me say until so serious..
She summore say wad if i dun change this habit then chase me out of the house etc de anyway juz very wad la...one tt make me most upset of her not-understanding is when she said: ''我们做工很压力了回家还要照顾你，你只是上学而以" i was lyk... wadde la she work is very tiring but she do housework for the ppl nia tiring those i no but stress?? a bit ba i dunno but HOW CAN SAY WE NOT STRESSED! we more stressed than her le la...
But tt morning she scold me so much i wasnt tt angry of coz i tried to 'understand' her stand and did not get angry over her blowing her top. Halfway thru her scolding i tried to explain, then she scold me back summore then after tt keep stress to me tt what i argue back is mean she wrong la etcetc i was lyk...wadeva la i answer she not happy i dun answer she also not happy...WAD SHE WAN ME TO DO LA see why i alays keep quiet when she scolds??
Argh but i wasnt angry either dunno why juz a little fed up then after tt ok liao coz i think she not feeling well and she very tired over work etc..
Then today is ndp celebration in sku ma so i bring a small bag instead then forgot to bring my keys out sia...then i ask her about movie tickets(was buying it juz now) thru phone she tell me she gib my aunt le later go take then scold again say wad i not guilty ar etc de...make me almost cry out la but siying was with me haha
Then after tt i buy tickets huh...i realised i cant use my voucher but i still used cash to buy my ticket...SHE SURE GONNA SCOLD ME AGAIN LA... arghargh...i really wanna watch ma summore hor, u cant expect me to waste so much of siying's time then tell her dun wan watch le wad...juz bcoz cant use the voucher then tell her sry cant watch le meh...so bad la!
But anyway i really dun wan her to scold me already...im sooo scared...i dun wan...argh... :'(
:( howhowhowhow BOOOOOHOOOOOO
Im so scared...scared tt my mother will scold me again later...she scold me twice le lo today..but of coz it's my fault la but still...
This morning my phone alarm rang i pressed once then got two more bells tt kept ringing repeatedly every five minutes...I didnt 'hear' it at all then didnt wake up coz i was real tired la... but it woke my mum then she got angry coz she ytd nite keep cough until cant sleep (how was i to noe tt?) Anyway..then she come my room at 6pm to scold me say until so serious..
She summore say wad if i dun change this habit then chase me out of the house etc de anyway juz very wad la...one tt make me most upset of her not-understanding is when she said: ''我们做工很压力了回家还要照顾你，你只是上学而以" i was lyk... wadde la she work is very tiring but she do housework for the ppl nia tiring those i no but stress?? a bit ba i dunno but HOW CAN SAY WE NOT STRESSED! we more stressed than her le la...
But tt morning she scold me so much i wasnt tt angry of coz i tried to 'understand' her stand and did not get angry over her blowing her top. Halfway thru her scolding i tried to explain, then she scold me back summore then after tt keep stress to me tt what i argue back is mean she wrong la etcetc i was lyk...wadeva la i answer she not happy i dun answer she also not happy...WAD SHE WAN ME TO DO LA see why i alays keep quiet when she scolds??
Argh but i wasnt angry either dunno why juz a little fed up then after tt ok liao coz i think she not feeling well and she very tired over work etc..
Then today is ndp celebration in sku ma so i bring a small bag instead then forgot to bring my keys out sia...then i ask her about movie tickets(was buying it juz now) thru phone she tell me she gib my aunt le later go take then scold again say wad i not guilty ar etc de...make me almost cry out la but siying was with me haha
Then after tt i buy tickets huh...i realised i cant use my voucher but i still used cash to buy my ticket...SHE SURE GONNA SCOLD ME AGAIN LA... arghargh...i really wanna watch ma summore hor, u cant expect me to waste so much of siying's time then tell her dun wan watch le wad...juz bcoz cant use the voucher then tell her sry cant watch le meh...so bad la!
But anyway i really dun wan her to scold me already...im sooo scared...i dun wan...argh... :'(
:( howhowhowhow BOOOOOHOOOOOO
2007-08-03
im not angry
Alyways lyk tt de...they two say say say at me at same time supporting each other then what's there for me to say? So i say nth lo...keep quiet la then they keep say say i almost going to sream le la then blink my eye hard my mum tot i deng4 her then my father say i petty then they say i angry then they got angry and now house qi4 fen4 bad again...wadde la...MY FAULT AGAIN AR
sianz
Juz watched the JiayouJinshun...so sad la...haiz cried two times lo lucky parents didnt see sia...or else sure is laugh de then say why lyk tt also will cry etc i hate it, so of coz cant let them see lo la
Jinshun is Huicheng's real mother yet her grndparents dont let her bring him away when she get married...?What logic la..she is the real mother leh they got what right to take Huicheng away from her lor...
AHHH now so sadsad de my father still come bother me come irritate me.............
i am always amazed that my parents dunno how to spot my mood de lo...serious la they always dunno de la then i unhappy ar they bother me i dun wan to tok back but i will start crying coz very fed up with all the anger within me lyk tt ma so will walk away dun listen le or else i start crying how? Then they say i not happy wif them say i keep lose my temper say i disrespect them...wth la...I NORMAL THEY NOT HAPPY MUST MAKE ME MAD AR i very irritated liao le la...cant leave me alone de meh...
Haiz...what should I do? But then...i noe it will be over...as usual ma coz i always angry a while over le i dun mind le i happy again haha
But huh they huh juz lyk to be angry for long long time especially my mother but at least over bigger things la nvm dun wan say le the more i think the worse i get nvm nvm stop here then...
Today nth much in sku juz napfa inclined gdgd shuttle run cancan lo
Then lit test cancan also only write half of what i wanted to write but i think shld be alrite de coz tt's one whole big point ma...not bad la
One more thing...Im seriously starting to envy some of my frens le sia eunice specifically haha... dont understand nvm...juz saying nia..lol
Yea tt's all ^^ why ppl lyk to tok all about their day in blog? so boring..i dun lyk haha yea so end here cya ppl byee ><
Jinshun is Huicheng's real mother yet her grndparents dont let her bring him away when she get married...?What logic la..she is the real mother leh they got what right to take Huicheng away from her lor...
AHHH now so sadsad de my father still come bother me come irritate me.............
i am always amazed that my parents dunno how to spot my mood de lo...serious la they always dunno de la then i unhappy ar they bother me i dun wan to tok back but i will start crying coz very fed up with all the anger within me lyk tt ma so will walk away dun listen le or else i start crying how? Then they say i not happy wif them say i keep lose my temper say i disrespect them...wth la...I NORMAL THEY NOT HAPPY MUST MAKE ME MAD AR i very irritated liao le la...cant leave me alone de meh...
Haiz...what should I do? But then...i noe it will be over...as usual ma coz i always angry a while over le i dun mind le i happy again haha
But huh they huh juz lyk to be angry for long long time especially my mother but at least over bigger things la nvm dun wan say le the more i think the worse i get nvm nvm stop here then...
Today nth much in sku juz napfa inclined gdgd shuttle run cancan lo
Then lit test cancan also only write half of what i wanted to write but i think shld be alrite de coz tt's one whole big point ma...not bad la
One more thing...Im seriously starting to envy some of my frens le sia eunice specifically haha... dont understand nvm...juz saying nia..lol
Yea tt's all ^^ why ppl lyk to tok all about their day in blog? so boring..i dun lyk haha yea so end here cya ppl byee ><
2007-08-02
recalling...
Last few days, I've been thinking about last time again...
about times in kindergarten...pri sku etc...
coz tt day go home saw a little girl outside sku gate the hdb flat there wif her sister or hueva...
she walking around doing nth look so cute then i look at her smiling then she stare at me like very curious so cute...
then i walk walk until end of the block then she cant see me then she look around then she saw me again then smile smile so cute...make me feel so n1 la to be really treated as someone 'important' or at least she cared whether i was there anot la...
ok la may seem very small thing but i dun feel tt often ma...so i really like the feeling and tot a lot about last time lo...
I think that kids...they are so innocent..they haven got in contact wif the others in the world. They do not about probs and feelings of the older ones and they play all day long,no troubles... so envious...they are so... wu2 you1 wu2 lv4 lo how i wish we can be lyk tt again...
I think that to love or to be loved (by or to ppl other than your parents) is such a blessing lo...
you have someone to care for and u have someone who care for you lol frns included la =.= yea... it's nice isnt?
I love to be wif my frens most of the time bcoz i can feel happy though not really always la lol... sometimes although feel quite...nvm cant say here frens reading de... but still, i lyk to be wif my gd frens generally =)
O yea another thing tt i had been thinking about a lot these few days...tt's about erm...ambition? lol coz sec 3 coming so i rather started to think about wad course to take etc ma...yea I wanna be a counsellor if not then a teacher lol so i dunno wad course i can take anyone hav any suggestion?
anyway i wanna take double science juz dunno which science and which humaities to take lo...a lot of ppl think double science not so gd but i dun mind la it's lyk...it's not bad wad.. i lyk can le since my humanities mostly better than my sciences de lo...
And (juz figuredthis out today) today do maths ar i realise im gd wif numbers but poor wif figures as in those shapes la lol tt's why i think im gonna score quite low for maths this yr again...die le la tt mensuration thing...zzz...
Yea I really hope to be a counsellor coz i lyk to tok to ppl i wan to have a job whereby i have contact wif many diff ppl...and i lyk to have a busy life when i dun have a time to think too much ^^
Last few days read some books(CL) then gan3 chu4 quite a lot lo coz the stories is those teenage love stories type de la then so romantic so touching...make me feel so...er... nvm lol
Yea but I lyk tt type of stories when i noe abou ppl meeting their true love if u noe wad i mean haha yea...tt's it la ^^
I'll try to post more often lo...haha cya ppl again...><
about times in kindergarten...pri sku etc...
coz tt day go home saw a little girl outside sku gate the hdb flat there wif her sister or hueva...
she walking around doing nth look so cute then i look at her smiling then she stare at me like very curious so cute...
then i walk walk until end of the block then she cant see me then she look around then she saw me again then smile smile so cute...make me feel so n1 la to be really treated as someone 'important' or at least she cared whether i was there anot la...
ok la may seem very small thing but i dun feel tt often ma...so i really like the feeling and tot a lot about last time lo...
I think that kids...they are so innocent..they haven got in contact wif the others in the world. They do not about probs and feelings of the older ones and they play all day long,no troubles... so envious...they are so... wu2 you1 wu2 lv4 lo how i wish we can be lyk tt again...
I think that to love or to be loved (by or to ppl other than your parents) is such a blessing lo...
you have someone to care for and u have someone who care for you lol frns included la =.= yea... it's nice isnt?
I love to be wif my frens most of the time bcoz i can feel happy though not really always la lol... sometimes although feel quite...nvm cant say here frens reading de... but still, i lyk to be wif my gd frens generally =)
O yea another thing tt i had been thinking about a lot these few days...tt's about erm...ambition? lol coz sec 3 coming so i rather started to think about wad course to take etc ma...yea I wanna be a counsellor if not then a teacher lol so i dunno wad course i can take anyone hav any suggestion?
anyway i wanna take double science juz dunno which science and which humaities to take lo...a lot of ppl think double science not so gd but i dun mind la it's lyk...it's not bad wad.. i lyk can le since my humanities mostly better than my sciences de lo...
And (juz figuredthis out today) today do maths ar i realise im gd wif numbers but poor wif figures as in those shapes la lol tt's why i think im gonna score quite low for maths this yr again...die le la tt mensuration thing...zzz...
Yea I really hope to be a counsellor coz i lyk to tok to ppl i wan to have a job whereby i have contact wif many diff ppl...and i lyk to have a busy life when i dun have a time to think too much ^^
Last few days read some books(CL) then gan3 chu4 quite a lot lo coz the stories is those teenage love stories type de la then so romantic so touching...make me feel so...er... nvm lol
Yea but I lyk tt type of stories when i noe abou ppl meeting their true love if u noe wad i mean haha yea...tt's it la ^^
I'll try to post more often lo...haha cya ppl again...><
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