exhausted. drained.

It's been a really busy two weeks...
now then come blog.
well super busy lor
everyday very late come home de
first with leo the I&I
after that busy with pw.
then today i guess im resting haha
gotta start doing work le.
haiz.
lots to catch up on!

these 2 weeks ar
everyday damn late sleep leh
suuuper tired :(
chem lecture nvr survive awake before
today slept like around 30-40 mins LOL
on and off la
last 10 mins then awake and listen lols
but i could catch what was going on still la
thankfully
hahahaha
coz i woke up when cher ask us try a question
at the end of the lecture notes.
a very simple question la
can do la at least. im not totally lost.
i caught impt stuff k :P
tt's the gd thing about on and off sleeping :p
but then ar
maths lecture bad.
starting to sleep for maths lectures :(
seriously.
too tired la
esp coz is first few periods
i havent wake yet
after first few usu i can stay awake de
maths lecture thurs de is first period leh
sot ar
sure sleep ma
but maths worse than chem
i dunno what was taught.
erm ok la since it's mostly written there
but i didnt catch most of it
mr ang say the way mrs tan teach not very gd
coz not clear though
ying en veron they all listened
but also couldnt get it anyway -.-

haiz super tired!!!!
everytime so late come home le hor
and then want do work ma
and then will keep falling asleep at my desk.
lols. eyes auto shut down de lols
oh ya zhenyan told me a joke today.
she ask: what's the meaning of brain dead?
answer is: the left brain has nothing right
and the right brain has nothing left HAHA
well i found it funny hahahaha

ok talking about zhenyan
PW!
it sucks man.
i dunno where to start
i shall not describe la.
summary: nothing is going well.
im at a loas of how to continue.
i damn fail lor
the game i made dammmn fail
as a leader also so fail :(
haiz.
yepp tt's about it.

and my mum is seriously #)(%(@&%(*&$
haiz.
im like so super tired le leh
and she has to be like this.
so not understanding tsk.
she scolded me for coming home so late everyday
for these few weeks leh
wth lor
like i want la
i so late ar i ownself super tired
and not very catching up with work leh
make me want to try harder...
coz i scared.
im dropping again...
cant let that happen.
so though i come home late
and super tired
i still try to stay awake
fail la but still try ma
try to do as much work as i can...
and yet she said
i do so much work also nvr do well what
i was like speechless?!?!
wth
she so pro she go study la
always like tt
wan me do well
then this one cannot that one cannot.
wan do well need sacrifice a lot leh
yet she doesnt allow me to do anything.
go out study also might not let
wan so educational stuff or whatever also cannot
as long as need money or a lot of time etc
then cannot.
even if it helps.
ah whatever.

change change.

ms ang my new maths tutor!
our class combine with 29 and 31 ma
then band into 3 maths class.
ours is first one called "entusiastic"
SUPER dumb name HAHAHAHA
anyway
yea ms ang teach
coz we lagging behind quite a bit ma
so she's like bullet train now
DAMN fast...................
im not catching up well in my tutorials!
and there's so much more work to do...

this weekend.
tmr got csc talk at yishun jc.
need wake up so early!!!! :(
deprived of sleep le leh still like tt...
then need do...
chem benzenes tutorial
pw...EOM!!
and plan for written report liao :(
haiz. just the thought of pw irks me now.
maths...tutorial 21 and 20 poyo.
cll...hmm read up? nth much i think.
econs erm wait. got hw...errr oh ya
market structure issues tutorial ws...
csc well got shou ji from last term LOL
last term need 8 this semester need 10
total need 18 more term 2-4
but i only got like...3-4 now.
SO MUCH more to do.
but i have no inspiration at all..................
haha.

i shall try to be more cheerful nowadays hahaha
thurs ar
morning mum totally ruined my mood
before i left for sku
so i was in a dull mood
but as the day went on
i got better haha
mood improved.
i was all smiley and cheerful
all the way
until i got home.
and then it went to horrible.
it became worse than morning -.-
mum left harsh words behind
before she left with my dad go out
zzz gd. alone at home
can cry at ease
wanted to shout man
she's so unreasonable...
i've been working hard
and coming home late everyday
and draining myself
coz of sku
NOT PLAY
how can she scold me for no reason like tt...
ridiculous
but no matter what happens
she ALWAYS thinks she's right.
she always say i do wrong thing dun say sorry
but i have NVR heard her say a word of sorry...
NVR. seriously. not to me or dad anyway.
simeple reason.
she thinks she's ALWAYS right.
ah whatever.
i cant bring myself to burst her bubble...

now i shall just constantly tell myself
to smile and be happy :D:D:D:D
ignore her. haha...
wait for her go back normal
ignore all her hurting words...
i shall not hear them...listen but not hear...
i want to smile at every day
and start working.
and let jc pass soon.
and then hopefully get into a gd course in uni
and become an adult soon.
coz she told me im not yet 21
she still can interfere with me...